he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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