It's like a parade of train wrecks.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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