so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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