Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
