oh god the rape fog is back!
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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