right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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