I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
