My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Little spoons don't ask big questions
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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