I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
