Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
