he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
