i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Randomize
