To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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