apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
