a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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