Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
