My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
