if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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