Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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