u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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