when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
