Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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