he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
