alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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