yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Randomize
