Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
