I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
