I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
