I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
