so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
