If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
