she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
