CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
My Sexting was not on an AP level
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
