unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
