he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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