I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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