Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
The Olympian is in my bed
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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