There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
i need some magic done to my vagina
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
