you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
