he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
