Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
