im gay
i know
yea but for you.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
3pm strippers are depressing
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
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