I'm passing your future prison.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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