sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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