Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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