He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Randomize
