I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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