i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
