It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
