i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
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