I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
