Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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