You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
